Love is the number one (and number two) most important command in all of Scripture, and yet it’s often grossly misunderstood.
Not only does the Bible mention love hundreds of times, but when the Pharisees asked Jesus, “Which is the great commandment in the Law?” he replied,
“…You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 22:37–40).
This is important.
Notice that Jesus isn’t giving the Pharisees a new law to follow, but reminding them of the heart of the law they already knew.
Every single command in the entire Bible is ultimately meant to help us do two things: love God and love others.
So what is love in the Bible? Why do so many of us get it wrong? And how can we love God and our neighbor the way Jesus intended?
Common Misconceptions about Love
Our culture has no shortage of books, movies, and opinions about love. Yet, many of the ways our society understands love don’t line up with the picture of love we see in Scripture.
Before we answer the question, “What is love in the Bible?” it’s important to first examine the ways we typically misunderstand love so we don’t fall prey to these misconceptions without realizing it.
For example, our society often portrays love as:
- accepting others exactly as they are (no matter what choices they’re making)
- confronting others about their sins, failures, and shortcomings (so they can improve)
- boldly standing up for victims of oppression and injustice (including yourself)
- quietly enduring mistreatment while you “turn the other cheek” to keep the peace
- insisting that others follow the same Christian laws and practices you do
- being kind, inclusive, and accepting of all beliefs and perspectives
Yet, when we look to Scripture for our definition of love, we see that none of these descriptions paint a full picture of the type of love that Jesus models and that He calls us to live out today.
What Does the Bible Say about Love? (Scripture Verses)
From beginning to end, the Bible is full of hundreds of verses that paint a picture of love in its various forms. These Bible verses about love include:
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
It’s not enough to say you love someone. Our love must be shown by our actions. God demonstrated this by choosing to act even though it came at a great cost.
1 John 4:7–8
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
Here we see that love isn’t optional for believers. If we truly know and love God, it will naturally affect the way we love those around us as well.
Matthew 5:44
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
This verse pushes us beyond loving the people who are easy to love. Biblical love means choosing to respond in love even toward those who actively seek to harm us or those we love.
It’s important to note that this verse doesn’t mean enabling or excusing abuse, but choosing to do the right thing and act honorably even when those around us do not.
Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
This beautiful verse gives us a glimpse of God’s heart toward us. It’s tender, joyful, and deeply personal. When it’s tempting to see God as strict, harsh, or uncaring, we can turn to this verse to remember how deeply He loves us and delights over us.
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
Love doesn’t ignore sin, but it chooses not to magnify every offense. Instead of keeping score, biblical love is quick to forgive and eager to preserve relationships when possible.
John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
Christians are known for many things, but Jesus says love should be what sets us apart. It’s worth asking: Would someone looking at our lives come to that conclusion?
What Is Love in the Bible?
While the Bible never gives us a singular definition of love, it does give us several descriptions of what love is like.
We see this most clearly in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
As I share in my book, Follow God’s Will: Biblical Guidelines for Everyday Life,
To me, loving others means respecting the inherent worth and dignity of each person as a human being made in the image of God and proactively finding ways to treat others the way you would want to be treated (adjusting for personality differences and personal preference, of course).
At its core, biblical love is not about doing what feels right in the moment. It’s about doing what is right in light of who God is.
This can include accepting others as they are or confronting them about their sins. It can include standing up for truth and justice or turning the other cheek. And it can include standing up for what’s biblical and moral or letting others make their own choices.
The difference comes down to your motives. Are you acting out of a deep love for God and others, seeking what is truly best for them? Or are you acting out of your own anger, annoyance, ego, or desire to have your own way?
Of course, we’ll never have completely pure motives. We are all imperfect human beings and very much works in progress. And we don’t want to swing so far to the other extreme that we completely neglect our own valid needs in order to enable others’ selfishness. That’s not biblical either.
But the closer we draw to Christ, the more Christlike we become and the easier it becomes to love our neighbor as He first loved us.
So how do we do this, practically speaking?
Love as a Fruit of the Spirit
While the Bible does repeatedly command us to love God and others, the good news is this love is not something we can or are expected to manufacture on our own. Rather, love is listed as one of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22–23.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
This changes our entire approach to loving our neighbors! We don’t have to power through and “fake it ‘til you make it” when our friends, family, and acquaintances are being downright unlovable. Instead, the Holy Spirit empowers us to love others when we remain in step with Him!
This is why Paul tells us in Galatians 5:16, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
When we walk in step with the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit automatically produces this love within us on our behalf!
Yes, we must take action. (We’ll discuss that next.) But we must remember that it’s the Holy Spirit who produces this desire in us in the first place and enables us to live it out. Whenever we’re struggling to feel or act loving, we can always turn to Him for His supernatural strength.
How to Love Others in Real Life
So if love is the most important command in all of Scripture, where do we start?
First, we start by loving God. The more that we grow in our relationship with the Lord, the more the Holy Spirit will naturally produce love as a fruit of the Spirit in our lives. We do this through spiritual disciplines such as reading the Bible, praying, and worshipping with other believers.
Next, we take action to love those around us. We must choose, at times, to bite our tongues, speak up, reach out, lend a helping hand, set a boundary, or any number of other actions. No, this isn’t always easy, but the Holy Spirit will help if we ask.
We all fall short (Rom. 3:23). We have and will continue to mess up countless times throughout our lives, both intentionally and unintentionally. But when we know God calls us to love, we believe His way is best, and we trust the Holy Spirit to enable us to live in love even when it’s not easy, it won’t be long before we see the fruit of our right actions—whether in others’ hearts or our own.
Want to Love God and Others Well?
Sometimes the hardest part of loving others isn’t knowing that you should. It’s actually following through on what you know you should do when those around you are difficult, draining, or have genuinely hurt you. These resources will help.
- The Fruit of the Spirit: Paul’s Framework for Christian Living
- 5 Ways to Love Your Neighbor as Yourself in a Divided World
- What Forgiveness in the Bible is (and is Not)
Peace in the Waiting
Through compassionate guidance and encouragement, Peace in the Waiting helps us navigate the grief, confusion, and urgency we feel for our loved ones who don’t follow Jesus.
She’s Not Your Enemy
Find freedom from jealousy and insecurity as you rest in your true worth and identity in God. Complete with reflection questions, journaling space, and accompanying teaching videos, She’s Not Your Enemy helps you move beyond habits of self-protection and create a culture of community.
