Ten years and three children into my marriage, I discovered my husband was having an affair.
Well-meaning friends counseled me to leave him. Spiritual advisors assured me I had scriptural grounds for divorce. My own common sense told me to let go and move on. But when I sought God, His Word whispered to my wounded soul, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.”
I had memorized those words as a child. But they were never more real to me than in that heartbreaking season of life. The author and finisher of my faith equipped me to stay with my husband in defiance of everything that seemed right at the time.
Now, twenty-six years later, I thank God for guiding my steps, rebuilding my marriage, and drawing me into a trusting relationship with Him.
What Does “Lean Not On Your Own Understanding” Mean?
Scripture encourages us to pursue and even cry out for understanding (Prov. 2:2; 23:23; Ps. 119:169). But no matter the scope of our intellect, our brains can only grasp a fraction of reality. God created us this way on purpose.
He never intended our sliver of understanding alone to guide us through the complexities of life. That’s why Proverbs 3:5 instructs believers to “trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”
Our heavenly Father calls us to live in such a trusting relationship with Him that our self-sufficiency surrenders to His all-sufficiency and reveals His glory (2 Cor. 4:7; 12:9).
Practical Tips to Avoid Leaning on Your Own Understanding
From the beginning of time humans have struggled with the tug-of-war between self-sufficiency and God-dependency. It’s not that we, as believers, suffer from the delusion that we know better than God. That would be insanity. No, our temptation to rely on our own understanding is rooted in the much craftier, age-old lie, “Did God actually say?” (Gen. 3:1).
Thankfully, our loving Father knows our hearts are prone to wander. He provides timeless principles in Scripture to help us resist the temptation to bend His eternal truth to fit our temporal reasoning.
Here are practical tips to avoid leaning on our own understanding, gleaned from the verses surrounding Proverbs 3:5.
1. Use God’s Word as the Go-To Source of Truth (Prov. 3:1–2)
My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments,
for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.
The author of this proverb instructs his child to remember and obey not just any teaching, but the lessons taught to him by his loving father. This wise dad echoes the heart of our heavenly Father, who knows that deception can creep in when we fail to make His wise counsel our foundational source of truth (John 17:17; Ps. 119:160).
We’ve all asked Google a spiritual question. Maybe that’s precisely how you stumbled onto this article right now. If so, welcome! But no matter what question you ask the internet or where the search results take you, if the answers you find don’t point you back to biblical truth, that source cannot be trusted. There are plenty of spiritual resources available today, but the Bible is the only source of truth that stands the test of time (2 Tim. 3:16).
2. Let God’s Love Be Your Inspiration and Motivation (Prov. 3:3–4)
Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man.
Love is the only thing that has the power to woo our hearts into a posture of trust. When we live in constant awareness of God’s love, remembering the price Jesus paid to demonstrate that love, it changes the way we view Him, ourselves, and the world around us (Eph. 3:17–19).
God’s perfect love ignites our love for Him and gives us the ultimate reason to cling to Him—instead of our own understanding—when fear threatens to undermine our faith (1 John 4:18–19).
3. Surrender to Trust (Prov. 3:5–6)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Our topic verses reveal that trusting in the Lord goes hand-in-hand with our call to forsake our own understanding. Only when we trust God can we exchange our human reasoning for His seemingly unreasonable path of faith.
It made no human sense to march the Israelites to the impassable Red Sea for deliverance, but Moses trusted God (Ex. 14). Only a crazy person would take a slingshot to a giant fight, but David trusted God (1 Sam. 17).
It was illogical for an unsummoned queen to risk a death sentence and approach the king, but Esther trusted God (Esth. 5:1–2). And no unwed teen in her right mind would joyfully submit to a divine surrogate pregnancy, but Mary trusted God (Luke 1:26–38).
Because all these biblical figures trusted God completely, they were able to walk confidently by faith into God’s unfathomable plans.
4. Embrace Humility and Godly Fear (Prov. 3:7–8)
Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
Perhaps the most difficult part of leaning not on our own understanding is identifying what is “our own” understanding and what is the godly insight gifted to us through following Jesus. But as we allow God’s truth to shape us and as we yearn for obedience, the more His ways become “our own.”
Even when we feel certain that we understand God’s ways, life has a way of exposing the limits of our understanding. God is faithful to use our difficult or confusing circumstances to gently challenge our ideologies and assumptions and lovingly remind us that He alone is God (John 16:33). These moments unsettle our expectations, test our trust, and make us wonder, Where is God in all this?
The answer is that He is always right there, in the thick of trouble with us. God uses our trials to build our faith, humble our hearts, and renew a reverent fear of the Lord, which is essential for godly wisdom and understanding (Prov. 9:10).
5. Hold God’s Blessings with an Open Hand (Prov. 3:9–10)
Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.
The firstfruits of all our blessings belong to the Lord because there is nothing we have done, or could do, to earn those blessings. One of the most painful errors we can make when learning to lean not on our own understanding is to mistakenly equate the blessings God gives as a reward for our own goodness.
That kind of wrong thinking comes naturally because our world operates through a works-equal-rewards system. But the minute our spiritual mindset switches from the truth of God’s grace to a works-based system, all other thoughts are contaminated by our wrong understanding (Gal. 3:1–10).
God’s gifts, including His ultimate gift of salvation, are given to us because of His goodness, not our own. We’re often tempted to hoard many of the gifts we receive instead of stewarding them. When we hold them with open hands, they flow through us to accomplish His will for His purposes (Gen. 12:2; Luke 6:38).
6. Be Teachable (Prov. 3:11–12)
My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.
We all miss the mark sometimes, especially when it comes to leaning on our own understanding. Our walk with God will never be one of perfection this side of heaven. If we live in a surrendered, trusting relationship with Him, there will naturally be times He has to redirect our faulty steps to guide us back to His righteous path. Those moments of reproof may feel unpleasant, but His resolve to correct us serves as evidence that we belong to Him.
Teachable hearts respond to God’s correction with repentance. Knowing that our loving Father delights in us and wants the best for us helps us see His discipline as a gift rather than a punishment.
7. Enjoy the Fruit of Trusting God
Did you notice the prize at the end of every set of verses we covered? Although we can’t earn God’s blessings through our own goodness, there are natural consequences that come with leaning on God instead of our own understanding.
The author of this proverb prescribed these guiding principles so that his child would experience the peace, success, direction, refreshment, provision, and favor that come through a total trust in God. Our heavenly Father desires the same for us.
Additional Resources to Help You Seek God’s Direction
While Proverbs 3:5 cautions us to “lean not on your own understanding,” it’s only the first step. The following verse continues: “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” These resources will encourage and equip you to take your next steps in faith today.
- What Is God’s Will, and How Can We Find It?
- What is Biblical Courage? Lessons from the Life of Anna
- 9 Prayers for Guidance When Life Feels Uncertain
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