Loving your neighbor as yourself can be one of the most radical and counter-cultural acts you can perform.
We live in a fast-paced world that often thrives on an us-versus-them mentality where people haphazardly hurl insults across the metaverse at breakneck speed.
So, who is our neighbor?
When Jesus was asked this question in Luke 10:29, He told the story of the good Samaritan where the answer was not a definition but a demonstration of mercy. According to Jesus, loving your neighbor is second only to loving the Lord your God. Jesus didn’t mince words about this.
When we think of our neighbors, it’s easy to assume this means the people already inside our circles, ones who think and feel the same way we do. But Jesus challenges us to think outside of our comfort zone, break barriers, and love those whom we may consider unlovable.
How to Love Your Neighbor as Yourself
While there isn’t a magical wand to wave and—poof—suddenly everyone loves their neighbor, we do have a guidebook and an amazing Savior who points us in the right direction.
Here are five simple ideas to help you love your neighbor.
1. Root Yourself in God First
When we try to do things apart from the Holy Spirit, we often fall flat on our faces. Left to ourselves we stumble and fail. When we feel burned out and neglect our own souls, our capacity to love, or even like others, shrinks.
When we root ourselves in God and receive His perfect love, we can channel that into loving our neighbors.
First John 4:19 tells us, “We love because he first loved us.”
By soaking up time daily in God’s presence and remembering His love for us, we become a reflection of that love to the world around us.
Simple things that may help you are taking time for prayer, memorizing a favorite verse, and meditating on God’s love.
One of my favorite verses is John 15:12: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” Repeating that verse grounds me and reminds me of His love. It encourages me to give the same love I receive from Christ.
2. Show Genuine Love
We often think of love as just that fuzzy, romantic feeling, but it’s so much bigger than that. Real love is a choice we make every single day. And loving our neighbors can’t wait until we feel compelled to action. Instead, we need to choose to be proactive in how we care for others.
When you’re having difficulty loving the neighbor you’d rather avoid, remember they are someone created specifically in the image of God, “male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27).
It changes your heart when you stop looking at people with the labels the world suggests and start seeing them as God’s creation.
It’s so easy to get caught up in all the drama. Remind yourself gently that this world isn’t your permanent home. It’s easy to get distracted, but our primary citizenship—where we truly belong—is with the Lord.
This reminder can give you the grace to love your neighbor and pursue unity now. One day, all who belong to Christ will be gathered as one redeemed community.
3. Pray for Your Neighbors
Sometimes we think of praying for others as just a nice thing to do, but Jesus was pretty clear that it’s something we should do. He didn’t just request it; He set it as a standard for us.
In Matthew 5:43–44 Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
It is incredibly hard to stay bitter toward your neighbors when you are consistently bringing them before God in prayer. Prayer on the behalf of others often results in our hearts being changed first.
Praying for our neighbors helps us see them as real people with their own lives and struggles. Ask God to give you a genuine spirit of compassion for them.
Never underestimate the power of prayer. It can change a situation, and it can change us!
4. Show Up for Your Neighbors Practically
You’d like to do something for your neighbor but aren’t sure what would be best. Start small; you don’t have to do anything grand. Small stones thrown into a lake still make an impact.
Hold a door open. Offer the overwhelmed mother in the supermarket a hand and tell her she is doing an amazing job. Invite someone over for a meal or bring someone a treat just because.
This one can be the hardest because of the uncertainty in how your actions will be received. I know in my experience it can be scary to take the first steps, but it helps to remember you aren’t responsible for their response, only yours.
There is power in a simple smile and hello. In a lonely world, being acknowledged by another person can be a profound ministry.
5. Practice the Pause
Really listen to what people are saying. We live in a noisy, divided world, and being truly heard is a gift.
The Bible offers some great advice on this. James 1:19 says, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” I’ve found that listening more than talking opens up the possibility of building new relationships with my neighbors.
This applies to our digital lives too. The way you interact online really sets the tone for how you treat people in person. Before you hit that post button, take a quiet moment to reflect on Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
6. Consider What You Consume
If certain news outlets or social accounts leave you feeling angry or frustrated, it may be best to take a break. It’s hard to truly love our neighbors when we’re constantly seeing content painting some of them as the enemy.
The digital world we live in allows us access to any type of content imaginable 24/7.
Matthew 6:22–23 states, “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.” Ask yourself if what you are consuming is letting in the light or bringing darkness into your life. One will aid your desire to be a loving neighbor; the other will hinder it.
At the end of the day, the call to love our neighbors is something that takes time, like planting a garden. Seeds don’t magically turn into flowers overnight, and weeds will pop up. Give yourself grace. We can’t control outside forces, but we can control the warmth of our own hearts.
By consistently choosing love and faithfully showing it to others, we mirror the unconditional love that was first shown to us. In the end, these small, faithful acts of compassion serve as a beautiful way to show neighborly love.
Keep Loving Your Neighbor Well
Loving your neighbor is a lifelong practice. For additional wisdom and idea to help you love your neighbor well, be sure to check out these additional books on articles from Esther Press:
- Four Inspiring Lessons from the Samaritan Woman at the Well
- Navigating the Holidays with That Toxic Family Member
- 6 Prayers for Encouragement on Life’s Toughest Days
Peace in the Waiting
Through compassionate guidance and encouragement, Peace in the Waiting helps us navigate the grief, confusion, and urgency we feel for our loved ones who don’t follow Jesus.
It’s Never Wrong to Do the Right Thing
Rich with Nicole C. Mullen’s deeply personal lessons from her own journey of overcoming abuse and betrayal, It’s Never Wrong to Do the Right Thing provides biblical insights and practical encouragement designed to inspire and equip women to overcome fear, wait on the Lord’s timing, walk in wisdom, and move forward into a new season of choosing the best for their lives.
